rigged awards..

I'd like to think that I had an award coming to me tonight before I published my blog. Perhaps I was voted, "coolest traveler in the group"..or perhaps not (I'm guessing not). I mean come on, I thought stuff should be voted on with all feelings aside. Why I didn't win 'best blog award' will always be a mystery to me-since apparently many people read this blog, including Andy!! Which makes me want to clear a few things (mainly one) up: I no longer think my basic painting instructor is crazy!! Well, in all honesty, his view of the world is a little different and there for at first seemed crazy. But now I can honestly say this about my 2 teachers:

1. Dr. Oldfield, I love you because you're like me. We both cuss a lot, and we both say crazy shit that people don't expect to hear but love to hear at the same time.

2. Mr. Newbolt, I love you because you're not like me. You see the world so differently from anyone I know I can't help but admire you.

As I listen to drunk bitches outside my room sing 1990's song all I can say is this, I love this program. I love Andy, Charlie, and even the PA's who hate me. I love the city of Cambridge, I loved the excursions (even Bath), and I love all the teachers and people I met here. It was by far the best experience I've ever had and I hope we all stay as close as we promised to be. Maybe it's because I'm sad to be leaving, or maybe it's the 7th glass of wine talking, but I'm so incredibly sad and happy to see this trip end. Sad because it means back to reality, and happy because I get to see my family and friends again.

Also, I'd just like to point this out: (since nobody else has the balls to) RANDOM MY ASS!! MIKE SASAOS;DIHT;LA GOT THE AMAZON GIFT CARD BECAUSE HE'S BEEN HOOKING UP WITH A PA! DON'T THINK YOU CAN TRY AND PULL A FAST ONE OVER ME! I'M MOST HATED AND HE'S MOST LUSTED AMONGST THAT GROUP! SO PUH-LEEEEZ HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL US THE TRUTH AND SAY 'MIKE GETS $50 TONIGHT BECAUSE WE'RE BIASED, AND KAYLA DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE SPEAKS THE TRUTH.'

thank you, goodnight.

coming to an end

I can't believe the program is already over. In less than 12 hours I'll be walking out the front gates of Pembroke for the last time. Turning in my keys and taking with me only a suitcase full of clothes and memories. I'm so grateful to have been able to take part in this program, I owe my parents a pretty bomb vacation for their anniversary.


I've met so many amazing people on this trip and made friendships that I know will last a lifetime. It's amazing to think how close I've become with Karla and Annalyse after just 4 weeks. Annalyse, who I met for the first time at the airport security line, is now one of my closest friends who I can share anything with. Friendships have for sure been put to the test here and I'm so glad to know who truly stands by my side.


I may have had visited London once before in my life but nothing can compare to the experience I've had here. This time I was of drinking age, even though I didn't put it to use as often as my parents think I did! And this time, there was the Trailer of Life. Who would have known that a small trailer parked outside the market square that received only 3 stars from the health inspector would become my savior night after night. It's the closest thing to American food they have here and I must say, chips with cheese is my new favorite meal. Adam, trailer of life man, I owe you my life. But you owe me my anus back, because I'm pretty sure those cheesey fries messed up my intestine.


As Annalyse said, "new adventures can't begin until old ones end". I may be leaving Cambridge for good tonight but in the week that I have left here I'll be able to visit both Dublin and Paris. I never thought I would be able to say I visited 4 countries in 6 weeks, but now I can! (amost..)


To all the people I met on this trip, thank you so much for making it unforgettable. I couldn't have asked for a better group to share this experience with. I've seen them at their finest and I've seen them at their drunkest and I loved every minute of it. I better wrap this up sicne I have my final in 30 minutes! After that it's our art exhibition (uh oh...) and then our last formal dinner EVER! Then Annalyse, Karla, and I are off to Dublin.


Thank you everyone (especially my family) for allowing me to have the best 5 weeks of my life in a place an ocean and a continent away from home.


"Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we've touched"

dear PA's

It has come to my attention that the PA's on this trip, whom I considered friends and always had the utmost respect for, read my blog and don't particularly like what they see. I have been aware for quite some time now that Calum (yes I'm finally naming names) is not a fan of mine because of the way I joke around with him. I'm assuming that is why he 'defriended' me on facebook soon after I mentioned this in my blog:

"Now this certain PA is somewhat of a joker and a bit of a smart ass (and by "somewhat" and "a bit" i mean totally)."

Come on now, defriending is how you say 'I'm mad at you'? What's next, are you gonna send me a nasty message on myspace? What ever happend to, 'hey that's actually a pretty big insult in europe' or 'would you mind taking that down'? Ya know, mature ways of going about things. Now I never meant what I said to him in a rude way, in fact any of my good friends know that the more I joke around with you the more comfortable I feel with you. You can now understand why it came as a shock to me when I found out about my unpopularity amongst the PA's, after I thought we had established a relationship where friends could joke around with friends. Well apparently the PA's don't particularly care for me because of the things they read in my blog. I'll admit, I cuss a lot and due to my honesty I haven't had the greatest things to say about some of our excursions, but until the day I die I swear I'll never change that about me. I am who I am and if you don't like it then I don't care, I'm not about to change myself for some people I'll never see again. In fact, I didn't even know they were reading. But as a fair warning to all of you out there who unbeknownst to me are keeping up with this: I AM AN HONEST PERSON AND I SPARE NO ONE! SOME OF THE MATERIAL IN MY BLOG MAY BE OFFENSIVE, BUT THAT IS JUST THE RISK YOU TAKE WHEN YOU READ THE SHIT I WRITE. This blog was created entirely for my family so that they could keep up with my adventures while I travel thousands of miles away from them. If the PA's decide to huddle around a computer in their office and read my blog only so that they can talk about what a rude little American I am, then so be it. But if you don't like what I have to say then here's an idea, STOP READING IT!

botanical gardens fo free!

Now I'm sure when I titled this 'fo free' my family automatically assumed I stole something. You're only half wrong. It said Cambridge students got free admission if they could produce a school ID. Obviously Karla and I knew that we weren't really Cambridge students but decided to play dumb and use our abroad cards (which are in fact only used to swipe our meals). The lady took pity on us and let us in even though she made it clear we were supposed to pay. AYO!! WHO JUST SAVED 5 POUNDS?! we did.

Never thought I'd that, but okay. This was in the carnivorous plant room of the glasshouse. It upsets me to say that there were unfortunately no venus fly traps.

The Botanical Gardens were huge and had a fountain, a glasshouse, and about 8 different ponds. Or maybe it was the same pond just seen from 8 different angles. So far it's my favorite thing in Cambridge, behind punting of course! Karla and I spend about 2 hours there, half of which was in one spot taking pictures of trees reflecting in the pond.

PUNT AND DIE

This weekend was spent roaming the streets of Cambridgeshire, doing all the things we have been wanting to do but never actually got around to. I wish we would have gone earlier because these are the things we discovered: Primark (best/cheapest shopping in the world), a tea shop (even though my sister and chauzers told us do do this right away, we lagged..and it turns out they have the best tuna melts anywhere), a park with HUGE sunflowers, and of course COSTA coffee!!

On Sunday we decided to go punting..ruh roh! Annalyse had never been and it was time for her to give it a try. She did surprisingly well, but when we had only 15 minutes to get back before having to pay another 14 pounds for an extra hour, we decided I'd go on deck and take us home. Now this time we went, Karla and I decided it would be fun to go punting in the opposite direction we did last time. It was all fine and dandy until we quickly learned how muddy that section of the river was. The metal pole we were using frequently got stuck in the mud, but 9/10 times we managed to pull it out. The 1/10 time we didn't, of course happened to me.

I was punting us back when all of a sudden I couldn't pull the pole out of the water. I tugged harder and harder on it but still no luck. Then the boat drifted away and there I was standing on the back of the boat staring at about 2 feet of metal pole forming a 45 degree angle against the water. The little shit was stuck in the mud and we were floating away without a punting stick. I yelled at Annalyse and Karla to paddle us up to the side of the river and as soon as we got close enough Annalyse hopped out. She ran up to the pole and of course her midget arms couldn't reach the damn thing. I was the next person out of the boat and did my best to reach the pole with both my arms and legs but still no luck. I'd also like to mention the fact that by this time, it was pouring rain. So I told Annalyse to hurry and give me her umbrella. I had her hold onto my legs as I leaned my entire torso and outreached arm over the river towards the portion of the pole jetting out of the water. Then, all of a sudden, the swans came. Those ferocious little bastards may look pretty but they have eyes like daggers and do NOT like people. Out of the corner of my eye I could see one headed staright towards me. Not only did I have to hurry so we could get back in time, but I had to race for my life. I stretched as far as I could and swooped the tip of the pole with the umbrella. Once it was close enough I grabbed it and yanked that thing out of the mud just in time for the swan to pass by and give me an evil stare-down while doing so.

MEANWHILE, a group of older people sitting on the opposite side of the river were staring as we made fools of ourselves. To top it off, every punting group that passed pointed and laughed while I dangled half my body over the water. Karla sat in the boat and didn't do shit! She didn't even bother to take pictures or videos of this disastrous and then heroic moment and instead joined in on the laughter and screamed when the swan floated by.

^This was not THE time the pole got stuck in the mud, but in fact a different time when I managed to pull it from the earth's claws before the boat drifted away.

^Again this is not THE swan, but in fact another swan that gave Karla an evil stare-down. Those swans are bitches, for reals.

oh umbrella..

In loving memory of my umbrella:

This photo was taken just before we left to go get dinner. It is the last picture of me with my umbrella. Annalyse said it wasn't kidnapped and actually ran away because it was tired of being violated. She just can't comprehend the relationship we had.
This is a photo of wet me and my dry food. In the background is my jacket that I used to wrap my food in and got ketchup on. It was a worthy sacrifice I think because that kabob was delicious and my fries were not soggy.

This is just me laughing at all the crazy shit that happens to me and only me.

come home safe umbrella

Tonight was a tragic night indeed. I'm very sorry to report that my beloved black mini umbrella has been stolen. It seems like just 4 weeks ago when I was in the Cambridge store, purchasing the cheapest umbrella I could find. Sure it was flimsy and flipped inside out when even the smallest gust of wind blew through, but it did its job and kept me protected in this hormonal weather. My baby was last seen outside Gardines greek food place around 11:00PM playing on the stairs with Karla's umbrella. The kidnapping was first reported when we got our food and Karla asked if I had taken mine. After realizing my umbrella was in the hands of some thief and long gone by that point, I had one decision left to make: save my kabob and fries from getting soggy to the now POURING rain, or become the next contestant in a wet tshirt contest. If you know me at all it should come as no surprise to you that I chose food. I then spent the next 5 minutes trying to remove my jacket with one hand while the other balanced my styrofoam tray of food. After doing so I carefully wrapped my kabob and fries in a waterproof H&M jacket thus exposing my arms and WHITE tshirt to the storm. The walk back was long, cold, and extremely wet, but well worth my warm and deliciously satisfying dinner. All I have left now to remember my poor little umbrella by is the case it came in. I think I'll save it as a momento, or perhaps as a scent for some dog to sniff and then catch the perpetrator.

I miss you umbrella, please come home. And to the napper who napped my umbrella, I don't care who you are or why you took it, just please bring it back to me. Unless you're a hobo in which case, enjoy. And if you are a hobo I doubt you have a computer to read this but next time just wait for me to exit. Odds are I would have given you the umbrella and perhaps a few fries to go with it. You sir, fucked up.

(Before and after pictures will be up soon)

our epic day of boredom

Maybe it's because we just spent the weekend in London, or maybe it's because we're lame, but today has seemed pretty uneventful. My class has been put in a later time slot so in the mornings I sleep in later, and since there was no painting today (thank god) I just sat in my room and tried taking "artsy" pictures while I waited for Karla and Annalyse to get dinner.

^^^new shoes i bought!! i figured since my work out shoes got DESTROYED during the hike i had room for a new pair.

After dinner (which was surprisingly derrishis tonight) we went our separate ways and planned on meeting up later. We each sat alone in our room on facebook IMing each other about how we didn't want to spend the night alone in our room on facebook. UPDATE: still alone in my room on facebook. We don't want to spend money so chilling at a pub isn't an option. (Besides I'm saving my money for Revolution tomorrow night! 2SDAY 2FOR1DRINKS 2MORROW!! AYOOOOOO) I'm hoping to have a repeat of last Tuesday, which can be seen in the picture below.

Now there's a long story behind this picture that I've been debating whether or not to share with my family. I've decided it's a pretty funny story that needs to be shared with the world. So before going to Revolution me and Annalyse made ourselves some drinks since Karla is a lightweight and got super buzzed off 2 glasses of wine from formal dinner. At Revolution, it was 2-for-1 night so obviouslyyy I had a couple more. Plus we met a group of gay guys who asked us to play a drinking game and halfway through Annalyse felt sick so I couldn't let her drink go to waste! I mean come on people, we're in a recession! Needless to say I got pretty smashed and Karla had to walk me back. Only about a minute from my room Karla tells me the story went something like this: I suddenly threw my purse aside and headed for the grass that only fellows are allowed to walk on. I then attempted to trample through the waist-high hedges and as you can see, failed. Karla told me to just lay there while she got her camera out and I of course listened. I wasn't going to let that get me down though. I popped back up and made my way through the hedges, after which I ran across and did a cartwheel on the forbidden lawn. After making my way back through the mounds of foliage I went to my bed and passed out. The next morning I awoke with surprisingly no headache, but extreme curiosity as I lifted my clothes from last night and was confused to see a heap of leaves fall from them. Karla filled me in over lunch.

london in a weekend

It was our first free weekend to do whatever we wanted, so a group of us decided to go to London. After checking our bags into the Best Western, me Karla and Annalyse headed off to the Natural History Museum. We quickly got sidetracked on a hunt for the nearest McDonalds and I'm proud to say that from the opposite side of a street with many buildings and a tree between us, I was able to spot a fourth of a golden arch on a sign no bigger than a pizza box. What more would you expect from a true American girl with a love for happy meals. As usual, the McDonalds looked nothing like a fast food chain and more like the interior of a classy ass 4 star restaurant. We then got further distracted by Hyde Park, which is where the Peter Pan statue is in Mary Kate and Ashley Olson's 'Winning London'. Yeah, that's right. We're making plans based on the Olson twins. The park is pretty huge and it took us an hour to find, but it was so worth it. On our way out we also saw the Princess Diana memorial fountain. It's a huge loop of running water that you can walk in and turns your toes numb after 2 seconds if you can manage to keep your feet in for longer than 1.

^River in Hyde Park

^Me and the Peter Pan statue after I made all the 4 year olds get off

^Extremely cold water running through the Princess Diana memorial fountain

Then we checked into the hotel and finally made our way to the Natural History Museum. I often zone out while riding the underground so it was no surprise that it took me a while to realize we had arrived at our stop. Once I did I yelled at Karla and Annalyse to get off right then. Sadly, they didn't make it. Karla's attempts to pry the doors open didn't do any good either. I did manage to catch a glimpse of the other passengers laugh as I ran after them snapping pictures unknowingly with my lens cap on. Karla and Annalyse said people around them laughed the entire way to the next stop. After being reunited we finally got to the Natural History Museum 50 minutes before it closed. Just enough time to visit 3 of the free exhibits and sweat like a mofo from all the body heat of people being herded through dinosaur remains. That night we attempted to get drizzunk and go see the tower bridge and picadilly circus lit up but due to half of the underground lines being closed, we only made it to the London Bridge and turned right back around. Also, due to the water they call vodka none of us even got a slight buzz going after about 4 shots. My liver and I were both very upset about this.

^Karla and Annalyse obviously upset because their slow asses couldn't keep up with my European style of exiting the underground

The next morning we left to go hit up picadilly circus for some souveneir shopping, during which we of course ate at mcdonalds. I'm happy to report I finally got the blue free cup! Afterwards we went to oxford street to shop at the 3 story H&M and some other random places. Saving all my shopping for one day was good and bad. Good because it was really fun and of course I got some things for myself. Bad because the entire train ride home was spent in a state of depression over how much I had just spent. (Note to self: don't convert spending into US dollars, it will save you from severe buyers remorse) We also hit up St. Paul's Cathedral but because it was a Sunday and I guess it ACTUALLY still functions as a church, we couldn't tour the inside.

^Picadilly Circus, aka Time Square of London. Also, thank you lady that took our picture. You're right we wanted just the statue and not the huge screens directly behind us.
^Me trying on heels and obviously depressed because I'm an amazon woman and can't wear them

london in a day

So the night before we leave for the london day trip i check the battery on my camera. There were 2/3 bars and I remembered how my dad always said charge a battery only after it dies otherwise it reduces the battery life. So I figured no problem, 75% of a battery would last a day. It died 30 minutes into the trip.

Luckily I got some pictures of Trifalgar Square and Buckingham palace before it crapped out on me. Even more lucky of me, my friends are camera whores as well and took lots of pics for me!!

Our day went like this: boarded the coach way too early, dropped annalyse and the other shakespeare class students off at the globe theater, went on a walking tour with Andy, picked up Annalyse, backtracked the walking tour so she could see everything, did some random shit, and watched another shakespeare play at the globe theater. The best part I'd have to say was when Andy, a program director, got us lost trying to pick up the shakespeare students from the globe theater. Yes, this is the same Andy who gave us a walking tour around London, and then managed to take me Karla and Alejandro on a 40 minute hunt to find those bitches in what should have only taken 5 minutes. The craziest part about it was when we got off the subway there was a sign that said 'globe theater this way' but Andy said, no no no..it's this way. Turned out, Andy was wrong.

^Right after this he said, don't worry i know where we are, and then started taking us in the wrong direction yet again. This time, he listened to the sign when it said 'globe theater this way'. We were only an hour late picking them up.

Then it was off to Buckingham palace again so that Annalyse could see it. We couldn't find where the guards were to take pictures with so we settled for these walking fools.

^Guard in training, wassup.

^ Finally got to try a pasty!! Couldn't find the stand that Jennifer was talking about since Covent garden is effing huge, but still worth it. It tasted nothing like cheese and bacon but it was still delicious.

^Outside of Westminster Abbey. Pretty sure I offended lots of people when I shouted at Annalyse to take a picture while I posed like Jesus, but hey, offending people is what I do best.

^On our way to the Globe theater with the much prettier Tower Bridge in the background. This time we watched a Shakespearean comedy called 'The Merry Wives of Windsor'. Muuuuuch better than that crap we were forced to sit through last time, but at least we got to sit! Since the program people are super cheap, they only got half the students sitting seats while the other half got put in the standing area as if they were peasants. The 3 of us got sitting seats but they made everyone switch halfway through so me Karla and Annalyse definitely got a good view of the play with our chins resting on the stage. Poor Annalyse could barely see over the ledge though, we're gonna bring her a stool next time.

STONEHENGE: calendar or brothel?

Stonehenge is a place where people can gaze upon the mystery that is huge rocks. How did they get there? What purpose do they serve? Well I have come up with a solution for all questions, and no it wasn't aliens.

HOW IT WAS CREATED: many people believe that man power alone wasn't sufficient enough to lift the stones. Obviously the next best guess would be that a tribe of green fellows on UFO came and zapped the rocks into place. I say, turn off SciFi and go meet someone of the opposite sex. Some ancient civilization built stonehenge the same way the Egyptians built the pyramids: lots of slaves. Sure maybe one man couldn't stand a stone straight up, but I bet 100 men could! Problem 1, solved.

WHAT WAS IT FOR: As seen in the picture above, the middle rock is a penis, and the set of 3 rocks are women's legs/vajingo. You might say my mind is in the gutter but take a look at it again and have your 'ahhhh' moment. People would climb onto the rocks, pray to the goddess of fertility, and then do the nasty. The reason the civilization died off so soon is because the now impregnated women probably died trying to climb down the rocks. You would assume a civilization smart enough to build the mating ground would have remembered to include steps! Problem 2, solved.

Nowadays Stonehenge is used by the city to make money, and by tourists to take 50 different ridiculous pictures from every angle of the circle path encompassing the rocks.

bathe yourself in my adventures in BATH

BATH aka the largest retirement center on Earth. It's a tourist city due to the Roman Baths there, which once were a place to socialize and relax, but are now lined with lead pipes and will kill you if you bathe in them. My time in Bath went like this: bus ride there, roughly 5 hours, 2 hrs of free time, 2 hour walking tour of Bath, another 2 hrs of free time, walk around the Roman baths, sleep, wake up, and finally another 2 hrs of free time. Now if somebody could please tell me what to do with a grand total 6 hours of free time in a city where everything closes at 5:30, I would very much appreciate it. I should have known when I first saw the year-round Christmas store and an ATM located a foot and a half off the ground that it would be a city where retired people go to die. 15 minutes into our first round of personal freedom Annalyse, Karla, and I were already looking at each other wondering what the hell to do. So like any true American, we went to Burger King. During our next 2 hour break we got sandwiches, and finally the next morning we got breakfast. The city itself was very cute, as would be any town inhabited by old people. We also went into Bath Abbey (another church) and sat there for a while admiring the architecture and stained glass windows. The Roman Baths were pretty cool and filled our heads with information that historians have thought up, but none of which is probably true. You're allowed to have a glass of the water taken from a different natural spring where drinking it won't kill you, but I remember from last time that it tasted like body sweat and ass so I gladly passed on that opportunity.

^The Roman Baths from above

^The building in the back is Bath Abbey...I think


^Annalyse and I being fabulous during one of our breaks

Stratford-Upon-Avon..what can I say. I love the place. Despite it being the birth and resting place for my least favorite individual, William Shakespeare, I'm absolutely in love with the town. The buildings there are adorable! Even the McDonalds looks like it's straight out of Snow White. There's a river running through the city with a huge park on one side. It's where I imagine families would have a picnic lunch if the sun were ever to shine there. Speaking of the weather there, holy shit did it rain that day. Back in Cambridge I decided that since I remembered visiting the place once before when it was hot and people were out riding bikes and eating ice cream, I would wear shorts, a cardigan, and my Toms. woops. No less than 20 minutes after we arrived it was pouring harder than any rain I've experienced so far. No worries though, I brought my umbrella which managed to keep the top of my hair dry. Thank god we got to go to a play that night and sit in wet clothes for 2 hours. The play was a Shakespeare tragedy/comedy which loosely translates to "nap during the first act" (this would be tragedy) and "wake up in time to be slightly amused for half an hour" (hence the comedy). Even the PA's sitting across from us were all asleep on each other.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!

Hi mommy!!! Happy birthday/friday the 13th! Sorry I couldn't be there in person this year, I guess I'll just have to go out and have a drink for you. Just kidding, in honor of your birthday I think sobriety for the night would be a better pre-birthday gift. That and I have to be on a bus at 8AM tomorrow morning and having a hangover isn't how I'd like to spend those 5 hours. I hope you're having/have a wonderful day! and make sure Jennifer gives you my card. I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you, and I hope you're able to have a happy birthday even though the happiness in your life (me) is currently in a different country. Sorry I couldn't call you but class didn't get out til 6 and I couldn't make it to the store in time to buy a phone card.


Anyways, apparently people besides you dad and jen read my blog so I'll just leave it at:
HAVE A HAPPY _##_ BIRTHDAY!! I LOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUU!!

a little sneak peak

Today we went to Stratford-upon-avon, the birth place of William Shakespeare. In lieu of these events I felt it was completely necessary to link this video as a precursor to my blog about today. It's one of my favorite scenes from any movie and pretty accurately sums up the feelings of anyone and everyone that has been to high school.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n03GM6dhzQ

europe's greatest possible investment: trash cans

The ride home from Scotland was interesting to say the least. As many already know, it's nearly impossible for me to sleep on planes or buses. Of course, the one time I do manage to fall asleep is when we finally pass the castle on the coast that the program director Andy had me looking out for since the ride up. After a pit stop at a grocery store while we were getting on the bus, one of the PA's told us to make room because the other bus had broken down. Now this certain PA is somewhat of a joker and a bit of a smart ass (and by "somewhat" and "a bit" i mean totally). So, naturally, I thought he was trying to scare us. Then all of a sudden there was a mad dash for empty seats and I quickly realized I would be spending the next 8 hours packed like sardines. Our next stop was Fountains Abbey, which was the remains of an old ass church. This one said no climbing, and I said ef that. My first half hour there was spent holding my empty lunch box as I walked unimaginable distances to find a trash can. I finally found one about half a mile from the ruins in a bathroom where some lady had obviously just taken a crap. I think someone should sneak in during the middle of the night and place a trash can right in the center of the ruins and just call it 'a gift from god'.

no more hikes please

The day had finally come! It was the long awaited hike up the Trossachs that the PA's and program directors had successfully scared the shit out of us for. About 1 and a half hours one way and muddy as walking through elephant shit. Much to my surprise, this hike wasn't nearly as bad as the previous one! I can do long hikes, as long as the incline doesn't get to be above 50 degrees. At one point it was like scaling a building but thankfully it only lasted about 20 minutes. The only other thing that pissed me off were the massive swarms of bugs waiting for us at the top. Luckily they had us all pretty much bathe ourselves in bug repellant before leaving. I guess I also could have done without the Vietnam plants that were taller than me and bitch slapped me in the face everytime the person in front of me passed through them. But the view from the top made everything worth it.

and then i died.

disrespecting history is what i do best

After nearly dying on the hike, we decided to walk some more and tour the Edinburgh castle. I thought it would be like a real castle but it's pretty much just one big museum of Scottish history...boring. They say you could spend a day at the castle but the only reason for this is because beside every statue is a 4 paragraph essay explaining the statue. I REPEAT, attention span of a pickle! I need max 3 sentence blurbs. The war building was cool, but the most fun I had was taking inappropriate pictures. As you can see in the photo above I made fun of this dude and after taking the picture found out he fought the battle with a baby in his sachel and was a big war hero or something...woops! The view from the castle was pretty awesome too but, I could have just hiked Arthur's Seat again for free if that was what I wanted! jk. i'd never hike that shit again.

the morning i stopped trusting the PA's

sooo Arthur's Seat was described to us as a 'warm up' hike for the next days venture. They said it was a 'light 1 hr ascent up Scottish hills' that would have a great view of the city. They got 2/3 right. Definitely a 1 hr ASCENT, and it had a great view. BUT PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT WE ARE AMERICANS AND THE ONLY EXERCISE WE GET IS FROM THE COUCH TO THE KITCHEN! I don't care if that old couple or the 3 yr old learning to walk passed me, EUROPEANS WALK EVERYWHERE! and I was out of breath within the first 5 minutes! Stupid me decided that since it was only a 'light hike' I'd just wear my Toms instead of the actual exercise shoes I brought for the next day. Big mistake.

After nearly passing out and rolling down the side of a mountain we finally reached the top. Pouring sweat and red as a lobster, I still managed to pose for about 200 photographs. My legs felt like jello on the way down and for the most part I just hobbled along as gravity took over and carried me down the hills.

one disappointment after another

On our second day there we were forced to take a 2 hr walking tour. Shit was BOOOORING. There were 2 guides there, one was funny and wore a kilt, and the other was a stout fellow with a folder in his hand..if you didn't already guess, I got chubbs. He knew his facts but lets face it, I have the attention span of a pickle and wasn't at all amused by his stories. At least I wasn't Alejandro though, he was chosen to play the part of a robber in a story our guide wouldn't finish until the end of the tour and had to wear a zoro mask around Scotland for 2 hours.Annalyse and Karla both saw the Davinci Code and really wanted to see Rosalyn Chapel. I thought if it's anything like the other churches in Europe, it has to be worth seeing. Boy was I wrong. The 3 of us got there with the other students who wanted to go and quickly realized the movie makes it seem far much cooler than it actually is. (PS none of the clues in the movie actually exist in the church- in fact the only cool thing I saw was a circular mark left on the wall from where the production people glued on the star of david) The chapel is smaller than our house and everyone fell asleep while the lady was giving her speech.

first night in braveheart

In order to kick off our stay in Scotland the program directors decided to take us to a local restaurant- Jimmy Chung's Chinese Buffet. Apparently it was the only place that would take a reservation for all 77 of us. Immediately after dinner (and i mean immediately! they made us run to the venue) we saw a show called 'Truly Medley Deeply' which was a group of 3 guys in full body-suit spandex that played weird instruments and sang a MEDLEY of popular songs. Two of the guys were really cute so me and Karla got a picture after the show and then stalked them the next day when we spotted the trio strolling the streets. You can imagine how disappointed we were to find out all three have girlfriends. My hope remains alive though.

After the show while the rest of the students went out drinking, Annalyse, Karla, and I made plans of our own. SEE PARENTS! I'M NOT A CRAZY ALCOHOLIC AND I DON'T NEED TO BE SENT TO CELEBRITY REHAB! besides I'm not even a celebrity...yet. Anypoo, the 3 of us got gelatto and walked up to the castle where there happened to be a show going on. Obviously we couldn't see anything, but we could hear the bagpipes and almost shit our pants when fireworks started going off!

my size playground

The bus ride to Scotland was a bitch. We left at 8:30AM and got there around 7PM. Luckily we had lots of potty breaks along the way cuz hoooly shit did I drink a lot of water. During one stop at Richmond or something-shire we got to go to the remains of a castle. The town was adorable and made me think of the location in Hot Fuzz, pre-massacre. We were able to climb all over the castle ruins, but I imagine even if there were 'keep off' signs I wouldn't have listened. I spent far too much of my childhood at parks and up trees to pass up a playground like that. I don't think Europe has any safety laws either because I distinctly remember there being windows in the walls with no bars in front of them. Not to mention the whole thing was on top of a cliff with no baracade surrounding it. The views from the edges though were well worth the possible plunge to my death.

PUNT OR DIE...and drinks

So basically punting is the cambridge version of gondolas, except they stupidly let tourists take boats out by themselves and crash into other boats and walls. The first guy to go (white guy in bottom picture) pretty much sucked. It took us like 20 mins just to get out of the entrance area and when we finally went under the bridge all the people sitting in the cafe by the river clapped for us. In his defense it is hard to avoid going in circles...it was just much harder for him. After a while I offered to trade spots with him and basically I killed it. What can I say, all that physics finally paid off.

After overcoming the difficulties of punting, we all decided a round of drinks was much deserved. We picked up Analyse (the girl next to me) and headed for a place called Revolution. Lucky for us drinks were 2 for 1 that night! (they must've known i was coming) I had a tropic thunder, mojito, scarlotte miss charlotte, and pink collins. I'm not sure if the last 2 were actually super delicious or if the alc from the first 2 just made them taste better..but regardless they were pretty tasty. Karla got suuuper smashed and made everyone pinky promise to stay friends. We've decided to go there every tuesday night.