Thursday, August 26, 2010

come home safe umbrella


Tonight was a tragic night indeed. I'm very sorry to report that my beloved black mini umbrella has been stolen. It seems like just 4 weeks ago when I was in the Cambridge store, purchasing the cheapest umbrella I could find. Sure it was flimsy and flipped inside out when even the smallest gust of wind blew through, but it did its job and kept me protected in this hormonal weather. My baby was last seen outside Gardines greek food place around 11:00PM playing on the stairs with Karla's umbrella. The kidnapping was first reported when we got our food and Karla asked if I had taken mine. After realizing my umbrella was in the hands of some thief and long gone by that point, I had one decision left to make: save my kabob and fries from getting soggy to the now POURING rain, or become the next contestant in a wet tshirt contest. If you know me at all it should come as no surprise to you that I chose food. I then spent the next 5 minutes trying to remove my jacket with one hand while the other balanced my styrofoam tray of food. After doing so I carefully wrapped my kabob and fries in a waterproof H&M jacket thus exposing my arms and WHITE tshirt to the storm. The walk back was long, cold, and extremely wet, but well worth my warm and deliciously satisfying dinner. All I have left now to remember my poor little umbrella by is the case it came in. I think I'll save it as a momento, or perhaps as a scent for some dog to sniff and then catch the perpetrator.


I miss you umbrella, please come home. And to the napper who napped my umbrella, I don't care who you are or why you took it, just please bring it back to me. Unless you're a hobo in which case, enjoy. And if you are a hobo I doubt you have a computer to read this but next time just wait for me to exit. Odds are I would have given you the umbrella and perhaps a few fries to go with it. You sir, fucked up.
(Before and after pictures will be up soon)

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